So many times throughout my life I failed to remember that once I gave my life to Christ I also gave him my body. Its funny how I can sit here and think of times that I gave myself to someone who not only didn’t deserve me but could care less about me or my well being, and the one person who loves me most of all and who actually owns my body I gave so little. I’ve been talking with several different people about my struggle with sexual sin and I’ve found that the more I communicated about this on going issue that I’ve been dealing with the more helpful its been in my recovery. This is probably going to be by far one of the hardest blogs I will ever post simply because I’m allowing the world to see where I am flawed. Nevertheless, I am also sharing with the world the seriousness of sexual sin and the dangers it will cause if you do not be obedient to God’s word and pull away. A man once told me when I was sharing my story with him, “Don’t relate to your situation relate to God.” That is a very powerful statement and I refer to it several times to get me through those though moments.
Before coming to this point in my life I use to make validations for my reasons to continue to in participate in sexual sin. Some of the things I use to tell myself in order to validate my actions are noted as followed:
- I was introduced to it at a young age
- I’ve already started may as well keep it up
- I need the attention (good or bad)
- It’s an addiction
No matter what my reasons were for participating in such dangerous, destructive, and damaging activities, none of them were worth jeopardizing my salvation, which is exactly what I was doing. I Corinthians 6: 18-20 (NLT) Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God brought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. I honestly don’t think it can be simplified any further. Sex was designed to be a beautiful thing specifically for marriage. That is the core purpose for it and there is no getting around that fact. I unfortunately will not be able to offer my husband my virginity and it pains me to accept that fact. However, because of repentance I was given another chance to offer my body to Christ and if any of you reading this are currently dealing with the issue of sexual sin you can also have another chance at offering your body to Christ. Think about this, when you moved out of your parents house and got your own place, if you knew they were coming to visit you made sure your home was clean before they arrived. Well God is our heavenly father and He not only visits but His holy spirit lives inside of us, therefore we should make sure that are “house” is always in order. I attended a membership class this pass Saturday at my new church and we watched the crucifixion scene from The Passion. When I saw that I immediately reflected back to all of my wrong doing. Every time we do wrong its like we are there driving the nails in Jesus’ hands ourselves. I own The Passion and I’ve only watched it once because it really hurts to see what God went through for me. But you know what hurts worse? Knowing God suffered on the cross for our pathetic, sinful, flawed selves and we can’t even honor Him by keeping our bodies, His temple, pure.
I Thessalonians 4: 3-4 (NLT) God’s will is for you to be holy so stay away from all sexual sin. As you can see we were designed to be holy. This became possible when God sent Jesus to the cross. The only way for us to live a holy life is to be Christ like and participating in sex, masturbation, porn, or anything of that nature is not living Christ like. The more you participate in those activities the farther away from God you become. The more you participate in those activities the more habitual they become and we all know how hard it is to break a bad habit. I can say this because I’ve been there and done that. I can even write a book. That’s just how serious it’s been for me.
I urge you to run. Run real fast right now and leave the sexual immorality behind you. Do you like hurting God? Do you enjoy nailing Him to the cross? I didn’t that’s why I decided to make a change and allow God to use me more. I don’t regret anything that I’ve done in my life because I had to endure it to become who I am at this point. And who I am is a woman on a mission. I am a woman who has made many mistakes and who will make many more. However, I am the same woman who is going to use my mistakes as a learning experience for myself and for others. I want to enjoy the life God has for me and whatever I have to do to get that fulfillment and to feel His presence will be done. I don’t want to take this journey alone so stand up and walk the path or righteousness with me.
*** I wrote this blog about a year ago. Needless to say since then I've fallen several times. I'm human and it happens. Nevertheless, I do know the danger behind my actions. And maybe one day I will experience complete deliverance from sexual sin***
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